"I'm very sorry for your loss. Your mother was a terribly attractive woman."

THE ROYAL TENENBAUMS

Starring: Gene Hackman, Anjelica Huston, Ben Stiller, Gwyneth Paltrow, Luke Wilson, Owen Wilson, Danny Glover and Bill Murray

Ben The Slayer REVIEWS: The Royal Tenenbaums is a brilliant black comedy about the dysfunctional Tenenbaum family. Father of the family is the immaculately tactless Royal (Hackman), who along with wife Etheline (Huston) sired three child prodigies: Chas, Ritchie and adopted Margo. 22 years later the family has been torn apart by unhappiness and betrayal, mostly because of Royal. Upon hearing of Etheline receiving a marriage proposal Royal decides to pretend he's dying in order to win his family back. With all the Tenenbaums under one roof again, it's only a matter of time before disaster strikes . . .

This is a brilliant, heart-warming film from director Wes Anderson that will also have you splitting your sides with laughter all the way through. Beautifully shot and brilliant acted from all players (what else would you expect from such a stellar cast?), particularly Hackman as the hilarious Royal, this is a joy from start to finish.

"Sometimes when you're young you have moments of such happiness, you think you're living in someplace magical, like Atlantis must have been. Then we grow up and our hearts break in two."

HEARTS IN ATLANTIS

Starring: Anthony Hopkins, Anton Yelchin, Mika Boorem and David Morse

Ben The Slayer REVIEWS: Hearts In Atlantis is based on the novel by Stephen King, and even though in the book the story told here in the film goes under another name, a wonderful job has been made of transferring it to the screen. It tells the story of Bobby Garfield, who in the 1960s is 11 years old and is looking forward to a great summer and saving up for a dream bike. His life takes an interesting turn with the arrival of Ted Brautigan (Hopkins), the new lodger upstairs who turns out to have psychic powers - and a dramatic effect on Bobby's life.

This is a wonderful coming-of-age drama, told brilliantly by the performances from the young actors and the ever-excellent Hopkins, and beautifully shot. Hearts is one of my favourite King novels and this film really does it justice, capturing the themes of young love, brutality and the loss of innocence that the story "Low Men In Yellow Coats" brings across in the book. Although it differs from the book in places (there's no mention of Ted being a Breaker, for instance, or of the Dark Tower) this is an excellent film. In my opinion the best films come from King novels anyway!

"I'M GONNA KILL THE BEAR!"

THE EDGE

Starring: Anthony Hopkins, Alec Baldwin, Elle Macpherson

Ben The Slayer REVIEWS: The Edge tells the story of two men stranded in the Alaskan wilderness after a plane crash, and their struggle to survive from both a killer bear and each other! Hopkins plays intellectual billionaire Charles Morse whilst Baldwin plays Robert Green, photographer to Morse's fashion-model wife. Morse suspects that Green is having an affair with his wife, and has to deal with Green's murderous intentions as well as the killer bear.

This film is quite slow-paced but never dull, well-shot in the beautiful scenery of Alaska, and as always Hopkins commands the screen with a fine performance. However the stand-out moment is unintentionally funny: Hopkins tries to fire Baldwin up into killing the bear, and he concludes with the line "Because today . . . I'm gonna kill the motherfucker!"

"The world doesn't just disappear when you close your eyes, does it?"

MEMENTO

Starring: Guy Pearce, Carrie-Anne Moss, Joe Pantoliano

Ben The Slayer REVIEWS: Memento tells the story of Leonard (Pearce), who is on a mission to find the man who raped and murdered his wife. However Leonard has a rare condition where he cannot make new memories - he remembers everything up to the night of his wife's death, but anything after disappears. Forced to survive by taking polaroids and tattooing clues to the killer on his body, he gains the help of barmaid Natalie (Moss) and cop Teddy (Pantoliano) - but it isn't clear whether they have their own agendas . . .

Memento is a stunning film, taking the concept of twisted narrative to new levels.There is no chronologial order - we jump to different moments in Leonard's pursuit of the killer, seemingly at random, and it just works. The performances are all excellent, particularly Pearce as Leonard, and for his debut film  director Christopher Nolan shows great promise. Watch this film, particularly if you enjoy a mind-fuck.

"I couldn't look at him. He might look right through the fear and the shame, right through to the truth."

SLEEPERS

Starring: Kevin Bacon, Robert De Niro, Dustin Hoffman, Jason Patric, Brad Pitt

Ben The Slayer REVIEWS: An all-star cast head up this gripping tale of revenge. In the sixties, four young friends are growing up in the Hell's Kitchen area of New York. They play a prank that goes terribly wrong, injuring a man, and are sent to a young offenders institution. There they suffer horrific torture and sexual abuse at the hands of the guards . . . as men in the eighties, they get their chance for revenge.

This is a gripping and disturbing film, brilliantly made and as you would expect from such names, brilliantly acted. All are excellent: Bacon as sadistic guard Nokes, De Niro as Father Bobby, Hoffman as awkward lawyer Snyder, and Patric and Pitt as the grown-up versions of Shakes and Michael. This is a film you have to experience.

"Bah weep granah weep ninni bong!"

TRANSFORMERS THE MOVIE

Starring (Voices): Orson Welles, Leonard Nimoy, Eric Idle 

Ben The Slayer REVIEWS: A real blast from the past this one, Transformers were my favourite toys when I was a kid and so the movie was one of my favourites then too. If you've never heard of the Transformers, they're a bunch of transforming robots that have been fighting a civil war for years: the heroic Autobots and the evil Decepticons. In the movie they both come under the threat of Unicron, a planet-sized robot that devours other planets. The only thing that can stop it is the Autobot matrix of leadership, so Unicron turns Decepticon leader Megatron into all-powerful Galvatron and orders him to destroy the matrix. With their leader Optimus Prime dead, it's up to the remaining Autobots to stop Unicron! Still-good animation and a feeling of nostalgia makes this one of my faves. When I was a kid I cried when Optimus Prime dies!

"You know what I'm gonna tell God when I see him? I'm gonna tell him I was framed."

THE WAY OF THE GUN

Starring: Ryan Phillippe, Benicio Del Toro, Juliette Lewis, Taye Diggs and James Caan

Ben The Slayer REVIEWS: This awesome film hit cinemas late last year and was something of a missed hit. It's the story of two small town crooks (Phillippe and Del Toro) who kidnap a surrogate mother carryin the baby of a wealthy couple (Lewis) in order to score some big cash. However they don't realise the trouble they're getting themselves into!

This film is an excellent mix of action/gunplay, razor-sharp humour and tense drama. All the actors are excellent, particularly Phillippe and also James Caan as the ageing "bag-boy" who comes to deal with them. But the best part of the film is the opening, which has nothing to do with the rest of the film, in which Phillippe delivers what is undoubtedly one of the best lines of all time: "Shut that cunt's mouth or I'll come over there and fuck-start her head!" 

"Never send an adult to do a kid's job!"

SPY KIDS

Starring: Antonio Banderas, Carla Gugino, Alexa Vega, Daryl Sabara, Alan Cumming

Ben The Slayer REVIEWS: Don't let the fact that this is a kids film put you off - this film rocks! Directed by Robert Rodriguez (yes, the same guy who did Desperado and From Dusk Till Dawn), the film tells the story of retired secret agents Gregorio and Ingrid Cortez, who have settled down to raise their children Carmen and Juni. However they are called out for one more mission and are promptly kidnapped by the evil Fegan Floop, who plans to create an army of super-intelligent, robotic spy kids! It's up to Carmen and Juni to don their parents gadgets and save the day, if they can stop arguing with each other long enough!

The film has loads of laughs, great special effects sequences and cameo roles from all of Rodriguez's regular actors. Best of all it's just a really fun film to watch; it's obvious that everyone involved had a great time making it. Role on Spy Kids 2: The Island of Lost Dreams!

"I knew you'd pay a price for this. I knew you couldn't be so hopelessly geek-ridden for so long without suffering some really tragic consequences."

PLEASANTVILLE

Starring: Tobey Maguire, Jeff Daniels, Joan Allen, William H.Macy, J.T.Walsh and Reese Witherspoon

Ben The Slayer REVIEWS: A wonderful comedy-drama about teenage brother and sister David and Jennifer who get zapped into 50s TV show Pleasantville, whose inhabitants know nothing of sex, art, rain or even colour! Forced to pretend to be characters in the show, their 90s approach to life soon begins to change the town and its inhabitants as colour slowly begins to seep into Pleasantville - but not all of the townsfolk are happy about this . . .

Excellently acted and directed, Pleasantville is a real feel-good film - you really care about the characters and enjoy seeing the joy entering their lives. The special effects of the film stand out the most because of how great they are - the colour/black and white mixes are incredible. Watch this film - you won't regret it.

"I absolutely believe in God . . . and I absolutely hate the fucker."

PITCH BLACK

Starring: Vin Diesel, Radha Mitchell, Cole Hauser

Ben The Slayer REVIEWS: Vin Diesel plays the awesome anti-hero Richard B.Riddick in this extremely cool sci-fi action/adventure. A spaceship crashes on a planet with three suns, home to darkness-dwelling aliens with a taste for flesh. Unfortunately they arrive just in time for an age-lasting eclipse, so the survivors turn to Riddick for help - a serial killer with surgically shined eyes that allow him to see in the dark. The question is whether they can trust him to help them survive!

Shot on a small budget in Australia, this film is remarkably directed, acted and well-made. Vin Diesel is outstanding and Riddick is a genius creation - a sequel called The Chronicles of Riddick is in the works - the aliens do not know who they are fucking with! 

"I never had any friends later on like those I had when I was twelve. Jesus, does anyone?"

STAND BY ME

Starring: Wil Wheaton, River Phoenix, Corey Feldmen, Jerry O'Connell, Kiefer Sutherland

Ben The Slayer REVIEWS: A classic eighties film about the two-day journey of four young friends, who set out in search of a dead body and embark on self-discovery along the way. The four are very different: one sensitive, one rough, one flamboyant and one a scaredy-cat, but despite their playful joking and quarrels by the end they all band together when the going gets tough.

This is a wonderful film, based on a novella by Stephen King, played out in gorgeous locations with fine performances from the young actors. Some scenes are very famous, such as the boys fleeing from an oncoming train, but the stand out is the insult Wheaton delivers to Sutherland at the end: "Suck my fat one you cheap dime store hood!" 

"Ha ha! It's the wonders of nature, baby!!!"

TWISTER

Starring: Helen Hunt, Bill Paxton, Cary Elwes

Ben The Slayer REVIEWS: This is a film that I've always been a fan of but never owned, until I bought it in a video sale last week for bargain price of £5.99! It's about a group of storm chasers led by the feisty (and hot) Jo Harding (Hunt) and her estranged husband Bill (Paxton), who are on a mission to deploy their tornado-measuring device into the heart of a twister itself! The conflicts come from rival storm chasers led by the nasty Jonas (Elwes), and Jo and Bill's troubled relationship . . .

The film is full of action and laughs, and whilst the effects are a bit dated they still hold their own. Watch out for Philip Seymour Hoffman who steals the film as Dusty - any man who calls Bill Paxton "The Extreme" is a certified Nutter!

"You cannot imagine what I've had to endure. I have felt the very breath of God, chosen to suffer like no man before."

DRACULA 2001

Starring: Jonny Lee Miller, Justine Waddell, Gerard Butler, Colleen Ann Fitzpatrick, Jennifer Esposito, Jeri Ryan, Omar Epps and Christopher Plummer

Ben The Slayer REVIEWS: A modern version of the classic tale of Dracula, produced by horror legend Wes Craven. I'm a big fan of vampire films/books/lore, so I knew I was gonna like this. It's not gonna win any Oscars, but that doesn't matter, it has what counts: action, good special effects, sexy vampire chicks and ham acting, particularly from Jonny Lee Miller (who delivers such lines as "Don't FUCK with an antiques dealer!"). The story sees Dracula released by a group of art thieves and taken to New Orleans where he hunts down the daughter of Abraham Van Helsing, with whom he feels an incredible bond. Butler is excellent as Dracula, and the film presents an interesting interpretation of the myth surrounding Dracula's origins. I really like this film, and the DVD comes with a generous amount of extras. Look out for Striker from Get Over It in a small role as a cameraman!